Liquid Dreams
by vr2lbast
Summary: DtB S2, Suou-centric. A filler piece set around episodes 4 & 5. A Contractor, set on capturing Suou, disables Hei. They escape, but Suou is left to wonder if she should abandon Hei, help him, or confront the Contractor on her own.


**Liquid Dreams**

"You should be happy," Hei murmured. "There's only one."

Happy? Suou failed to see the upside in being chased by maniacs, whether they came at her in groups or one at a time. Sure, it wasn't the fiasco in the train yard, but…

"Come out, Shion."

The current maniac's voice drifted down from the roofs above them. A splash of what looked like hot coffee hit the ground at Suou's feet. It caused the pavement to bubble in a very uncoffee-like way, but she swallowed her fear and suppressed a whimper.

Hei had to be joking; there was no way she could see the 'happy' in this situation. He had to be joking, but Hei never cracked a smile, let alone a joke.

Suou glanced in Hei's direction. He seemed to be talking to Petya. She was momentarily struck by how ridiculous it was to be unphased by a grown man talking to a squirrel, but in terror of a single man with a cup of coffee. She glanced briefly toward July, who seemed unconcerned, but as she had never seen him express emotions of any kind, she supposed that a lack of concern was only natural.

Suou felt Petya drop on to her shoulder and tried not to flinch when he spoke in her ear. She was not yet used to conversing with her former pet although she knew that he housed the spirit of a Contractor.

"Listen carefully," Petya told her. His voice was low, barely audible, but because he could get so close to the shell of her ear, Suou could understand him easily. "We can't go back to the waterfront or the hotel while there's a Contractor hot on our tail, so July is going to navigate a safe route away from here. When you get the signal, follow him, stay low, and keep to the shadows. Understand?"

Suou nodded.

"Good. Try not to use your powers and ignore Hei if you lose track of him. You can meet him at the usual spot. I'm going to speak to July."

Suou felt Petya run across her shoulders, but did not dare to turn and watch him. She felt as though the slightest noise might give her away.

"Come out, Shion," the man above them called. "There's no need to fear me. I only want to bring you back to my employers. Unharmed, if that's what you wish,"

Another splash of coffee hit the pavement a hand-span from Suou's foot, sizzling like hot butter. She clamped a hand to her mouth to keep from crying out and was surprised to find she had no desire to do so. Suou often wondered why the cold, calm state she associated with Tanya's change did not stay with her now that she, too, was a Contractor, but now was not the time to dwell on it. Instead, she welcomed it, knowing it would help her escape.

"Is it my coffee you fear?" their attacker called down as Suou felt Petya run back across her shoulders to Hei. "It affects organic matter differently than inorganic matter, you know. It won't burn you…much, except where it sinks in. In fact, I would envy you, if you were splashed. The caffeine gives my poisons such an interesting twist. Your heart will race in exhilaration and its bitterness will fuel your hate. It will be exquisite, Shion…"

Suou shifted slowly, trying to pull her legs into a sprinter's crouch. After what seemed an interminable length of time, Hei gestured toward the back of the alley and leapt forward. Suou grabbed July's hand and ran in the direction Hei had given her, keeping low and to the shadows. Behind her, she heard the spattering of liquid as it hit her hiding space and a growl of disgust from the Contractor.

July ran a step behind, occasionally reaching out to brush his fingers against a window to get his bearings. "Right," he murmured as they neared the mouth of the alley and Suou veered to accommodate him. Sounds of violence followed them, but neither of them looked back, concentrating only on getting away. Hei, she knew from bitter experience, could take care of himself.

It was still early and the streets were nearly deserted. This meant fewer casualties and less panic if the Contractor pursued her, but it also meant that Suou could not disappear into a crowd. She briefly considered heading for Noah's Arc, but did not feel right involving people who had been so kind to her.

She wondered if July agreed; he seemed unable to worry about such things, but the path he chose also steered away from the shop. When it grew quiet enough, he tugged her hand, indicating that she should stop, and they crouched in the doorway of an office building, while he placed his hand against the glass, getting a deeper reading of the environment.

"Security guards," he murmured.

In other circumstances, Suou would have been relieved to hear it. Once, in her other life, security guards could have protected her from creepy stalkers, but this stalker was not an ordinary man and Suou felt she could protect herself better than any normal man could, even without using her powers.

"Let's go around them," she said. July nodded and obliged, plotting them a course around the complex, through a maze of buildings, and back toward their meeting place. Suou heard nothing more behind her, neither Contractor, nor Hei, and imagined they had avoided their attacker, but a familiar voice stopped them both short.

"Now, now, Shion," the Contractor said, stepping out from between two shops. For all the smooth and soothing tones of his voice, his appearance was non-descript. Brown hair, brown eyes, pale face without even a freckle to distinguish it – he was the very image of normalcy. "Are you surprised to see me? Surely you didn't think your guardian could take care of me alone…"

The Contractor pulled a bottle of water from his coat pocket, spun the lid off of it, and dipped his finger into the liquid. "Unfortunately, I had to use the last of my coffee to get by him. Such a pity. Water can be interesting, depending on its impurities, but bottled water is simply too plain. It is, however, the very stuff of life and, as such, can affect the very center of life itself. Come with me, Shion. I promise I will only play with your mind. You will feel nothing, nor will you care."

Suou looked up at the man, not knowing why he should want to track her or her brother down and not really caring. All she knew was that a strange man wanted to drag her away and expected her to come willingly. The cold, blank emotion of a Contractor stole deeper into her heart as she stared up at him.

"You talk too much," she said, and lunged for the bottle in his hand. She managed to knock it to the ground and avoided the swipe he took at her with practised ease. They tussled moment and Suou thought she was acquitting herself quite well when the Contractor grabbed her upper arm and flung her away.

He stooped to pick up the bottle, now mostly empty, and tossed it aside in disgust. The spilled water smoked gently on the pavement where it landed.

"I will have to volunteer at the hospital for a month, the way you make me waste liquid," the Contractor snarled, and pulled a second bottle from his coat. Instead of twisting off the cap, he pulled a knife from his belt and sliced off the top, dipping his thumb into the water as he cut the plastic away. "Well, then… No more talk if it bothers you so."

The Contractor flung the water in Suou's direction and it leapt from its bottle in a crystalline arc. Suou shrank back, fully expecting to be showered with the poison, but a flash of movement interrupted the vision and she heard Hei grunt in pain as the water splashed over him. Before she could ask if he was all right, he lunged forward, barreled into the Contractor, and threw them both against the wall of the shop. The Contractor's head hit the concrete and he dropped like a stone, but Hei did not wait to see if he would rise. He grabbed Suou's hand and dragged her down the street. She had only time enough to latch onto July, who followed in their wake.

"Hei! Hei, do you know where you're going?"

It was Petya, crawling out of the collar of Hei's coat where he had taken refuge. Suou thought it was a silly question; why wouldn't Hei know where he was going? However, as she found her footing and caught up with him, Suou could see the angry, red rash that covered Hei's right cheek and eyelid, which he kept tightly closed. Not just one eyelid, both, Suou realized. The water had splashed across his face, burned his skin, and hurt his eyes.

Hei was running blind.

"Stay right," Petya warned as Hei drifted toward the road. "You might need to duck down an alley. Are you sure you're all right, Hei? You're breathing oddly."

"Fine," Hei growled, but even Suou could hear the hitch in his chest. It was not the sound of breathlessness, but rather the tightness of restriction, as if Hei needed to concentrate on forcing air into his lungs. She remembered what the Contractor had said about his poisoned water affecting the center of life and how it burned as it sunk into the skin. Was it the water that was affecting Hei so badly?

Suou could hear no one behind them and assumed the Contractor was too injured to follow. She knew better than to think he was dead. For now it would be enough if they could have a moment's peace, so she could figure out what was wrong with Hei and give him a chance to recover.

"There's a road coming up, Hei. There aren't any cars. You need to turn left to get to the waterfront."

"How's Yin doing?" Hei said, as he took the crossing on the diagonal, Suou in tow behind him and July behind her.

Petya froze on Hei's shoulder and glanced back at Suou. "Yin?"

"Suou. The girl," Hei said impatiently as though unaware of his mistake. "Is July with her?"

"They're both fine."

Hei's arc was wide and Suou feared they would stumble their way back onto the sidewalk, but he took to it in one easy stride. It was another block before Hei stumbled and fell against the side of a building. He splashed through a puddle as he did so and then pulled up short.

"Yin, is he following us?"

Petya gave Hei a strange look and then gestured to July, who put his hand against a pane of glass and stood a moment, listening.

"He's still unconscious. I don't think he's dead."

Hei looked momentarily confused, nodded once, and then turned to run, but could not seem to find the way. His entire face was blotched and red, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. A clear liquid that Suou fervently hoped were cleansing tears coursed from beneath his eyelids. Some of the chill dropped out of her heart and Suou felt a moment of pity for her monstrous guardian.

"This way," she said, grabbing his hand. "July, lead us safely."

July did so without comment and Hei followed her without hesitation, although his actions were clumsy. They made it halfway across the open field before Hei stumbled again, but this time there was no wall to support him. Suou released his hand in time to keep from being dragged down when he fell. He threw his arms around his head to protect it as he hit the ground. Petya flew off of his shoulder and tumbled into the dirt.

"Hei!" the squirrel cried as Hei tried to pull himself to his feet and failed. He stumbled a few steps and fell again, clutching his head. He scrabbled around on the ground, seeking purchase, but found nothing to cling to. He groaned and curled in on himself, panting heavily. Petya snuffled at his ear and called to him again, but Hei did not seem to hear.

Suou didn't know what to think. It wasn't that she had never seen Hei incapacitated – had she not rescued him herself back in Russia? – but it had taken more than a little water to discomfit him, no matter what properties that water might hold. In her mind, he was as much a jailer as a teacher and protector, perhaps more so, and if he was unable to defend or help her, perhaps he was of no use to her at all and it was time to go.

She recognized these as the feelings of a Contractor, just as she realized the mixed humanity and logic in her desire for him to help her get stronger and the pure, human emotion of wanting to be the one to take him down. Petya seemed to sense some of her thoughts as he scampered up unto her shoulder to speak closer to her ear.

"I know there's nothing stopping you from robbing him and running away, and it might be the best time to do so now that he and the other Contractor are both unconscious, but he's a friend of mine. Will you at least get him to shelter before you go?"

"I will run away, but only when I'm stronger," Suou told him as though the thought had never crossed her mind. She crouched beside Hei and tried to pull him up onto her shoulder, but he weighed much more than his thin frame suggested. Petya asked July to help her and between the two of them they managed to haul Hei into the old shed they used when Suou practised target shooting.

Suou propped Hei up against the beat-up old sofa they had scavenged and his head lolled back, showing the extent of his burns. The skin was bright pink and raw, although it did not blister. His eyes were crusted shut with salt and dirt. There was still a pot of fresh drinking water in one corner, so Suou grabbed a cupful and the cloth she kept for washing her face and returned to kneel beside Hei.

She cautiously swabbed his blotched skin and then moved on to melting away the grime about his eyes. He moaned softly as she did so and his breathing eased a little. The affected skin looked sunburned, but ultimately no worse and it was with great relief that Suou decided Hei must have escaped with fewer injuries than she feared.

And then Hei opened his eyes.

He shut them just as quickly, crying out against the light and shielding his face with his arms, but it was enough for Suou to see how deeply bloodshot they were. Red-rimmed and pink-cast, the look of them made Suou's stomach clench before Hei could squinch them shut.

"Hei!" Petya said, scampering up Hei's leg and onto his jacket. "Hei, are you all right? Can you see?"

Hei mumbled something incoherent and turned away from them. He blindly brushed Suou aside and curled up on the floor, burying his face in his arms. He lay still for a moment, and then his breathing escalated and he shuddered. Petya cursed mildly under his breath.

"You shouldn't use such words," Suou said. Even she thought the admonition sounded ridiculous, but it was all she could think of to say. Petya must have understood because he ignored the rebuke and focused on the situation at hand.

"We need to pool information," he said. "What do you know about the Contractor who chased you? Anything will do."

"I don't know anything," Suou replied. "He thinks I'm Shion and his power turns liquid into poison."

"Then you do know something," Petya said. "What else do you remember?"

"I think the poisons are all different, depending on the liquid he uses," Suou said. "He was bragging about it. He told me that the caffeine in coffee would make my heart race, but that bottled water was too pure. He said it was boring, but because it was so important for living, it affected the center of life."

"And you, July?"

"His name is Cairo," July said, clutching one of Hei's empty bottles.

"Cairo?" Petya said. "Odd name. He's awake then?"

Suou felt her heart seize in her chest, but Petya seemed unconcerned, so she forced herself back into a state of calm.

"He's awake," July agreed, "but he doesn't know where we are. I think he's talking on a phone." He listened intently for a minute before speaking again. "He's too far away from the glass, but he's moving away from us."

"Maybe my luck isn't as bad as I thought," Petya said, and sighed. "We have enough to worry about."

Suou glanced toward the insensate Hei. "Is he unconscious again? Will he wake up, do you think?"

"I'm sure he will," Petya told her and seemed to believe it. "He's just had a shock. If, by 'center of life' we can assume that Cairo's bottled water attacks the brain, then it also affects thought and the body's natural functions. Fortunately, most essential functions are automatic, or else Hei might have stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating."

Taking this as her cue, Suou leaned in close. Hei's breathing was irregular, but strong. "He sounds like he's having a nightmare," she observed.

"He might be," Petya agreed. "The body's sleep cycle gives it a chance to repair itself and most of this activity occurs during REM sleep. This is also when people dream the most. I don't think it's too far-fetched to suppose that his body has forced itself into a dreaming state to begin recovery from Cairo's attacks. I don't know how long it will take though, or what kind of lasting effects it will have. Hei caught most of that bottle full in the face."

"He can take his time," Suou said tonelessly, rinsing out the cloth in her washbowl. "He probably thinks it's my fault he got hurt and I don't want to be hit again."

Petya made a grumbling noise, but did not argue. "Is there any food left?" he said instead. "You kids will have to eat, but I don't think you should go out until we know the area is safe."

"We'll have to go out sometime," Suou said, secretly relieved that she was not expected to face Cairo alone, "but not yet. We still have some rice balls."

The morning passed slowly. Suou did not dare practise her marksmanship for fear she would be heard. It was an irrational fear as she had learned to time her shots along with the noise from the construction site along the way, masking their sounds so that not even normal threats such as security guards or the police ever noticed her. It was ridiculous to think that Cairo would recognize the shots for what they were, especially when he still thought she was Shion.

It was an irrational fear and not a thought she should be having as a Contractor, but another part of her thought it even more logical to wait and see what Cairo would do. He was an unknown element and, as such, in the interest of self-preservation, it was only practical to lie low until such time as she was certain it was safe. However, if the same situation was both rational and irrational, how could she be sure of what was logical?

Bored with her speculation, Suou turned her attention back to Hei. He was still asleep, or unconscious; Suou did not know which. Petya scurried about anxiously, checking Hei's breathing, snuffling his ears and the raw, pink skin at the corner of his eyes. She supposed it was good that someone was looking out for Hei when she had no idea how to go about it or any real desire to do so. Her hate for Hei was still strong, although it was dulled by the sight of him sprawled out on the floor of the shack. He looked vulnerable and easy to defeat. Logically, if she wanted to be free of him, Suou knew that she could easily dispatch him, but it would not satisfy her as much as seeing the look on his face when she beat him in a fair fight. There was something else keeping her from harming Hei as well: a deep, unnerving, immovable certainty that Suou could not identify. Petya could safely reserve his concern for Cairo's poison.

Hei twitched in his sleep.

"Do Contractors dream?" she said out loud although she didn't really expect an answer.

Petya looked up, startled by the question. "Some say not. Do you dream?"

"No," Suou said. "Not since… I haven't dreamed since becoming a Contractor."

"Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly dream," Petya told her. "Mundane human things like eating with utensils or buying hats. I told this once to Hei as well."

"But you don't have a Contractor body anymore," Suou said. "Do you think being a squirrel makes a difference?"

"You ask hard questions, little missy," Petya said, leaving his charge to scamper across the floor and scurry up onto her knee. "I can't really tell you that. All I know is that I dream, as does Hei, although he will certainly tell you he does not."

"Do you dream, July?" Suou said.

"No," July said from his position on the sofa, a bottle clutched in his hands.

"I suppose Dolls don't dream," Petya said, "although they do remember. I sometimes wonder if my dreams are nothing but memory. If you remember when you sleep, perhaps you also dream, July."

Although his expression never changed, July looked pensive.

"Perhaps," he echoed.

Suou had no memory of dreaming, nor did she dream of memories. Not knowing what to think, she turned her thoughts toward other things like the slant of light outside their hideout, the call of the birds that flew overhead, and how, had anyone fallen asleep like this in her presence a month ago, she would have drawn on their face with a black marker. Now, she could not even see the humour in it.

Suou was contemplating lunch when Hei began to wake. It was a gradual change and he moved slowly, as if testing his environment. He blinked and for a split second Suou could see the burning red of his eyes, and then he hissed and squeezed them shut again. Petya jumped down from Suou's knee and scrambled up Hei's sleeve as Hei forced himself to sit up and slumped back against this sofa.

"Hei!" Petya exclaimed, clinging to his jacket. "Are you all right? Can you see?"

"The light hurts, Mao," Hei replied. His voice was thick and hoarse.

"But can you see anything?"

"Shapes," Hei said. "Dark. Like silhouettes."

He tried to stand, but couldn't seem to get his legs under him. His movements were faster now, but clumsy, as if his limbs were numb with cold.

"I'm thirsty, Mao," Hei said. "What happened?"

Petya gestured toward the drinking water and Suou obliged him by dipping out a cupful.

"We were chased by a Contractor named Cairo," Petya said. "He can turn liquid into poisons that are absorbed by the skin. You were splashed in the face with altered water, which we think is affecting your thought processes and motor control. You should probably sit still for a while."

"Cairo," Hei mused, folding his hands awkwardly around the cup that Suou pressed into them. It was strange to see him so clumsy. "I don't remember his name. Is he a part of the current mission?"

"Well, he's after Suou, so I suppose he is," Petya said as Hei downed the contents of the cup. "Although he seems to think that Suou is her brother, Shion."

"Suou?" Hei said. "Is she with MI6?"

Silence fell, heavy and thick. Suou shifted uncomfortably under the weight of it. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, she spoke.

"I don't even know what MI6 is," she said flatly. "You said you were supposed to train me."

Hei heard her; Suou knew that he did. He turned toward her, would have looked right at her if he could have opened his eyes, but when he held up his cup, he said, "Yin, can I have more water?"

A flash of anger gripped Suou's chest. Although it dulled quickly, she could not bring herself to reach out and take the cup. She felt separated from Hei in a way that was almost physical. It angered her to look at him, knowing he did not see her. It angered her to look away, knowing she was useless. Seeing no immediate way to deal with this cold weight of emotion that she, as a Contractor, should not be feeling, Suou stood and left the shack. On one hand, it felt immature. On the other, giving herself a quiet space in which to think seemed the logical thing to do.

Petya came out some time later, no more than half an hour, by Suou's judgment, although it felt a lot longer.

"I had July give him some water," Petya said. "In case you were worried."

"Why would I worry?" Suou told him tonelessly. "I hate him."

"I know, but you're also a good person. You might worry about someone who's thirsty, if you knew you couldn't help them."

"I could have helped," Suou pointed out. "I chose not to."

"Some choices are already made for us. It's very disconcerting to hear you don't exist," Petya said, unconcerned. "July doesn't feel the same way, but Dolls are different than both Humans and Contractors."

Suou stared out across the water, saying nothing. Petya too, was quiet, although he stayed beside her. Several minutes passed before Suou decided to share her thoughts.

"I was angry," she told Petya. "I shouldn't be angry. Don't Contractors lose their emotions?"

"Hmm…" Petya mused and made several more thoughtful noises before he spoke in earnest. "You always ask the hard questions. I used to feel the same way, but now I don't think that's necessarily true. They do lose their emotions, at least for a while. A Contractor's change is physical, even if it doesn't show outwardly.

"Human emotions are created by glands affecting the brain. What gives them meaning is how they are interpreted," Petya went on. "Human interpretation is largely instinctive usually reinforced by society. Contractors don't think the same way as humans and the only society they know is human, so they have no real code to tell them how to behave as Contractors. They are compelled to behave logically, but logic itself is subjective. Does one behave logically for one's own benefit or for the benefit of their organization even if that organization doesn't care what happens to its agents? In the end, I think each Contractor must decide his or her own logic. Once that's done, feelings might follow. If you decide that self-preservation is the most important thing in the world, anything that goes against it might anger you and anything that safeguards it will make you happy."

"I don't think I understand," Suou said.

"That's all right, neither do I," Petya told her. "These ideas are fairly new to me. They might not even be true, but one needs to start somewhere.

"Ah well," he said, scampering up onto Suou's knee and following her gaze across the water. "I really just came out to tell you that I spoke with Hei a while. He doesn't know you because he thinks it's a few years back. He can't conceive of anyone from his future and I don't think it's water he's thirsty for, but he can't conceive of that either. The brain is a funny thing; it can recreate something so completely that you believe it's real. Cairo's power is a dangerous one."

"Will he come back from the past?" Suou said.

"I imagine so," Petya said, "although I'm not sure how long it will take. For all I know, the immediate effects of Cairo's poison have already vanished and what Hei is experiencing is part of his recovery. In any event, he's likely to be disoriented for a while. He might not always think he's in the same time or place. All you can do is keep telling him who you are and hope it triggers a recent memory."

"I can't stay here and nurse him for long. I have to get to Tokyo," Suou said, although she knew it sounded cold. She wanted it to.

"Understandable," Petya said, offering no judgment. "I won't stop you if you choose to go. I asked you to get him to shelter and you did. Thank you for that. Oh, and July put your share of the rice balls near the hole in the wall in case you were hungry, but not ready to come in."

"Thank you," Suou said.

It was kind of Petya and July to think of her that way, especially when she did not expect it. Perhaps there was something to Petya's philosophy. After all, she had never been able to fathom why Shion was so nice to her when her father insisted that he had no feelings for her. Perhaps she had fulfilled some personal requirement for him and so he had taken care of her. Perhaps family had held a deeper meaning for him.

It was useless to speculate about it now, especially when she had no idea how she felt about her brother anymore. All she knew was that she needed to find him; it was a personal drive stronger than self-preservation. That was why she stayed with Hei, who knew the way. That was why she helped him although he always hurt her. That was why.

Suou fished out the rice balls and ate them in peace. She would go back inside and help Hei to heal, she decided, but for now she intended to enjoy the solitude.

* * *

Suou found the afternoon to be more eventful than the long waiting period of the morning. For one thing, Hei was livelier, even if he frequently called her Yin, sometimes Amber, once Kirihara-san, and occasionally forgot she existed at all. He made little sense when he spoke because he spoke of places and people that were unknown to her, but also because he occasionally forgot entire words, not only in his sentences, but their meaning and very existence as well. It was frustrating for both of them, although he was the only one to express his frustrations, cursing, snarling, and sometimes turning away. On Petya's request, Suou held her tongue and swallowed her own annoyance.

Now, as the sun was setting, Hei seemed unable to use his left arm. There was nothing wrong with it as far as Suou could tell, but he insisted on a makeshift sling for it and it hung limp against his chest.

"What happened to it?" Suou asked as she adjusted the belt that served to support it so that it wouldn't rub against Hei's neck.

"Knife," Hei told her. "You should know, Amber. You were there."

"I'm not Amber, I'm Suou, and I wasn't there," Suou told him.

"It'll heal, but I don't want the…the cut to open again," Hei said as if he had not heard her.

Suou sighed. 'Wound' was evidently off of Hei's vocabulary list, whether the wound was real or not. She took a step back and stared into his face. A small part of her longed to hit him, to return the favours he had done her, but what purpose would there be in it? He was not the same person and would not understand.

The change went beyond Hei's thoughts being trapped in the past of a younger self. His very appearance was affected. The lines of his face were different, smoother, and there seemed to be fewer of them, a result, Suou imagined, of having some of the stresses of his future removed. Suou supposed that he could be quite respectable if he were less scruffy, and a trifle less smelly.

Not that she should talk. She couldn't remember the last time she had a proper bath. Even if they could get back to the hotel tonight, they would be without utilities. It would be difficult enough to get food, now that the rice balls were gone.

As if on cue, Suou heard the distinct sound of a stomach growling. She glanced toward July, but he sat as still as ever, calm and unflappable. Only then did she notice the slow blush colouring Hei's face.

"Sorry," he said.

"I suppose it's to be expected," Petya said from the back of the sofa. "I haven't seen you eat once since meeting up with you. Do you have any money?"

Hei paid the squirrel no mind. Obviously, in his own little world, he had not yet met the Contractor who would possess Petya. Petya sighed and shook his head.

"Suou, you'll have to search his pockets. Be sure he knows what you're doing or you're liable to lose an arm. July, you'd better to check to see if there's a safe route to a store."

"We have no food and you have all the money. I'm checking your pockets, okay?" Suou told Hei as she sat down beside him on the sofa. "I'm going to check your left-hand pocket first."

"I don't carry money here, Amber," Hei said. "What would I do with it?"

"I'm Suou and you have money because you always give me some for food," Suou said as she checked his jacket pockets.

"Perhaps you should check his back pockets," Petya suggested.

Suou felt her face grow hot even before the implication of Petya's statement set in.

"Ju-July! Your turn!" she ordered.

They eventually found some bills in a pocket on the inside of the jacket Hei continued to insist he did not have and headed out under July's direction.

"I don't see Cairo anywhere," he told Suou, "but there are some rough looking men around the food shops we usually use."

"Is anything else open?"

"A convenience store a few blocks over to the west."

Suou nodded. "We'll go there."

She wanted to avoid anyone Cairo might question about her whereabouts and there were not that many people around. With the area under reconstruction, only those who could truly not afford to move somewhere better had stayed behind. She expected little from the convenience store, which was likely to be receiving irregular shipments, but it was worth trying. If she found nothing, she could risk the food shops.

She was in luck. The man who ran the shop was conscientious and practical. The place was clean and although it had little variety, the necessities were kept in stock. Suou not only found some bento boxes prepared by the man's wife, but also tea, aspirin, sterile pads, and bottles of water. She made sure there was enough food for a couple of days. She did not want to venture out more often than she needed to.

"If Hei concussed Cairo in their fight, we might be safe for a while," Petya said when they returned and Suou explained her choices. She set July to making tea with their good drinking water and brought the sterile pads and bottled water to Hei.

"I'm going to clean your eyes, Hei," she said. "Then we can eat."

Hei made no protest and waited patiently as she wiped away the gummy tears that crusted his eyelashes once again. Suou feared his injuries were worse than expected, but when she prompted him to open his eyes, shielding them as she could against the light, she saw that they were not as bloodshot as they had been that morning. Although he winced and shut them quickly, she thought they might be getting better.

"Thank you, Yin," Hei said and stroked her cheek.

Suou pulled back in shock. "I'm Suou," she said and busied herself with unpacking the bento boxes.

"I think I will take my tea outside, July," Petya said. "It looks like it will be a nice night." July nodded and followed him out, balancing two cups on a couple of trays of food. Suou watched them go, wondering why Petya would want to sit out in the cold.

She joined them a short time later, face impassive. After a moment to gather her thoughts, she turned to Petya as he calmly lapped at his tea.

"That man is a pig!" she said.

"You've managed to get some food into him then?"

"Some food? He's eaten everything we have left!"

"Ah. Well, he always did have a good appetite in the past," Petya said. "Take my lunch. I've been sharing with July."

"If you knew he would do that, you should have told me. Now I'll have to go out and get more," Suou told him.

Petya shrugged as best he could in his squirrel body. "Hei needed to ingest something that wasn't liquid," he said. "Next time, remind him that your funds are limited. He knows how to restrain himself on a mission."

Suou sighed and picked up the leftover tray. Even cold, the food was good and, hunger assuaged, the situation did not seems so dire. A meal and a hot drink could work miracles.

"Was Hei always like this?" Suou asked, clutching her tea to warm her fingers.

"What do you mean?" Petya said.

"He seems different now," Suou said. "Kinder, maybe. More patient. I don't know."

"Hard to say," Petya said. "I haven't always worked with him and we were separated for a while. I don't know what happened in that time, but I do know the drinking is new and that does things to people that are never for the best."

"I see," Suou said, although she did not. She merely sipped her tea and watched the sun go down. It steadily got colder and Petya sent July to top up the wood stove. Petya followed shortly after. Suou waited until she had finished her drink, and then waited a little more. When her fingers started to numb, she picked up her trash and went back inside.

Hei still sat on the sofa, sprawled out over the far end, sleeping deeply. On the other end, July curled up against the armrest, comfortable in the heat of the stove. Petya rested in the nest of July's hair. There was no place left for Suou.

She sighed and curled up on the floor near the stove. It might not be comfortable, but at least it was warm.

In the night she was awakened by the sound of movement, clumsy and hesitant. She felt a hand touch her shoulder, and then strong arms slipped beneath her, lifting her off the ground.

"You shouldn't perform your obeisance alone, Bai," Hei's voice whispered into her ear. "You know I promised to always watch over you."

Suou wanted to protest, to insist upon the use of her name, but she was only half-awake and her body refused to move as she wanted it to. She blinked blearily, taking in just enough of the room to realize that Hei was sitting down on the floor with his back against the sofa, and closed her eyes again as he settled her into his lap, her head against his shoulder. It was not nearly as comfortable as the sofa would have been, but it was much more comfortable than the floor and Hei's body was warm, far warmer than she might have expected. His arms around her made her feel secure and, in spite of her hatred of him, Suou felt her muscles relax and her body mould itself into the shape of his embrace.

She thought, perhaps, she should be alarmed, but his touch was protective and his motives sincere. Hei's breathing, deep and regular, his strong, steady heartbeat, the warmth of his body, and the security of his arms, all of this lulled her into a deeper state of relaxation and Suou drifted back to sleep to the sound of a hummed lullaby.

* * *

Suou awoke to Petya peering at her from the crook of Hei's arm. It took her a moment to realize that the arm was wrapped around her, and then her memories of the night before came flooding back. She stiffened, coming to full awareness, and her first thought was to fight her way out of Hei's grasp, but Petya raised a paw to stay her.

"Don't wake him," Petya said. "Move slowly. Don't alarm him."

"Alarm _him_?" Suou whispered.

"I suppose, last night, he thought you were his sister," Petya told her. "Would you prefer he wake up thinking you're an enemy and try to snap your neck? Now, give me a second to get you out of there."

Suou wondered what Petya meant, but dared not move or crane her neck to watch him as he ran up Hei's shoulder. She could hear him scampering around and suddenly one of Hei's arms released her, swung violently upward, and then dropped down to his side. A few minutes later, his left arm did the same and Hei shifted in annoyance, giving Suou a chance to roll out of his lap.

"The insect by the ear trick never fails," Petya told her, jumping down from the sofa, against which Hei tried to curl up, his arms around his head. "Although I am surprised he didn't wake up the moment you stirred. I suppose his mind it still under forced repair. At least both his arms are working again."

"I didn't know he had a sister," Suou said.

"I don't know much about her," Petya admitted, "but as I understand it, Hei's sister was a Contractor and her remuneration was sleep. As she slept, Hei would watch over her. She was lost to him during the Heaven's Gate incident. That's all I know."

Suou looked into Hei's face again. His skin had lost much of its redness and she felt much less inclined to punch him. "I think I'll practise this morning. It's silly to think that I'll be found when I've learned how to time my shots."

She worked on her marksmanship most of the morning with July sitting beside her, calculating her targets. Hei woke and fumbled around the shack, let by Petya. He called her Kirihara-san today and seemed unconcerned about the sound of gunfire. He was friendly, even charming, and sat beside her while she practised, asking her about her job, her subordinates, and especially about Saito, whom he had met on a catering job. Suou reminded him that she was not Kirihara and knew nothing about her life, but Hei did not seem to hear and he was acting so amiably that Suou could not bring herself to insist and shatter his illusion.

She folded cranes between sessions and, in the mid-morning, washed out Hei's eyes once again. This time, when she prompted, he managed to hold them open a little longer.

"You aren't Yin," he told her, peering at her from beneath the shield of her hands.

"No, I'm Suou," she replied. "Do you remember me?"

Hei closed his eyes. "No. I'm sorry. Where did we meet?"

"Just recently, when you were in Russia."

"I've never been to Russia."

Suou sighed. She supposed it was too early to hope for recovery, although seeing her was a good sign. It meant that Hei was indeed getting better, even if he was doing so more slowly than she would like.

By mid-afternoon, Suou was too hungry to wait and she stepped out with July, leaving Hei in Petya's care. This time they did visit Noah's Ark and spoke a while with Lebanon while take-away was prepared. It was nice to get away and for a while and talk to someone who knew who she was and did not speak gibberish that she was expected to understand. It made for a pleasant interlude and by the time she left, Suou felt at peace for the first time in days.

The moment could not last.

"Cairo is back," July said, clutching his bottle.

Suou froze. "Where is he?"

"A few blocks behind us. He doesn't know we're here, but he's looking."

"We have to hurry," Suou said, grabbing July's hand and pulling him into a run.

They were flushed when they burst into the shack, much to the surprise of Petya and Hei, who took a fighting stance until he could be convinced that they were not enemies.

"Cairo's back," Suou told Petya breathlessly. "July saw him."

"Is he coming this way?" Petya asked July.

"No," July said. "But he isn't far away."

"I'll need you to keep an eye on him," Petya ordered. "Let me know if gets too close for comfort or if you lose sight of him."

July nodded and Suou, feeling useless, asked what she should do.

"If you don't pray, now's a good time to start," Petya said. "Unless you think you're a match for him."

Suou considered this.

"No, I don't think so," she said. "I'll fight him if I have to, but I think he's better than me."

Petya nodded. "There's no shame in admitting it. It's better than running into a battle you can't win for the sake of your own ego. Fortunately, you have the advantage of distance. Unfortunately, you haven't had much practise with shooting live targets. If he comes this way and we can pinpoint the direction of his approach, you might be able to line up a shot against him, but there won't be room for hesitation."

"Who is Cairo?" Hei interrupted.

"The Contractor who hurt your eyes," Suou told him. "He turns liquids into poisons."

By some miracle, Hei not only seemed to hear her, but also looked confused, as though he could not place her. It was not an ideal recognition, but at least he did not see her as someone from his past.

"Suou," she reminded him. "Cairo is after me."

Hei nodded and pulled his wire to inspect it, a feat he managed by touch, examining every fiber with his bare fingers. "Mao, where are my knives?"

"Lost," Petya told him. "So is your coat and mask. You don't even have… You can't even see, Hei. You can't fight this one."

"I've fought in the dark."

"This isn't the dark. Even in the darkness, there's some light. You'll be fighting completely blind in a city you barely know."

"I have to protect her."

Suou's heart swelled. It meant nothing, she knew, coming from a man who no longer knew who she was, but after having her life turned upside down, after being hunted by the Russian military and any number of Contractors, hearing such a declaration warmed her. Even so, Petya was right.

"No, you don't," Suou said. "He isn't coming this way." She cast a quick glance toward July who confirmed her statement with a shake of his head. "We need to lie low and stay quiet and maybe he'll go away long enough for your eyes to get better."

"She's right. We're safe for the moment," Petya said. "July will keep an eye on him, at least as long as he's near glass. We need to be ready, but there's no sense in getting excited about it until we know what he's up to. Right now, you should all eat. It will keep your strength up."

This time it took some coaxing to get Hei to eat anything; he was agitated and refused to sit down long enough to do so. It was Petya who calmed him down and July's assurance that Cairo had stepped away from the widows of the city west of their location that convinced him they were not in any immediate danger. Suou was not so sure, but she said nothing. It was safer to wait for Cairo to come to them, at least as long as Hei's vision was damaged.

When they settled in for the night, Suou was awarded a spot on the sofa beside July, while Hei stood watch. He insisted and Petya agreed. There was nothing wrong with Hei's ears and July could not be expected to scry all night, but it made Suou uneasy. In spite of his willingness, and although he was spending more time alert, Hei still wore out quickly. Petya promised to wake her if he started to doze off, but…

But…

But…

No matter, Suou decided. That she should worry about a man she hated was useless. That she should believe Cairo would never find them was useless. That she should miss being awkwardly held as she slept when she had a corner of the much more comfortable sofa was useless.

Tomorrow was another day.

* * *

It was still dark when July shook Suou awake.

"He's coming," he whispered.

"Who?" Suou said, disoriented.

"Cairo. Along the water's edge. He passed some broken glass."

Suou cast a brief glance toward Hei. July followed her gaze, impassive, and then turned back to her. He knew what she feared; Hei was in no condition to fight, whatever he might believe. She was in charge and he would do as she commanded.

"How long before he gets here?" she whispered.

"Ten minutes," July said. "He's walking slowly. Looking."

Suou scrambled to her feet and tried to avoid bumping into Hei. "Ten minutes is good. If you know where he's coming from, ten minutes is plenty of time to line up a shot."

"Oi, missy! Don't do anything rash," Petya said, scrambling up the back of her coat. "You don't know enough about this man."

"I know I'm tired of this," Suou said. "I can't huddle in here like a rabbit. He's going to come here whether I like it or not, so I might as well be set up when he gets here. If I don't, there won't be room to shoot when the time comes.

"I won't do it right out front, don't worry," she told Petya, misinterpreting his look of concern. "I'll go around and attack from the side before he gets close enough. Come on, July."

"That isn't what I meant. Suou!" Petya called after her as she ran out the door with July on her heels.

She had to do this, she knew. She was the only one who could defend them. She was grateful for July's abilities and allowed him to lead her to a safe place away from the shack, but hers would be the finishing move.

"Stay in the shadows. I don't want you to get hurt," she told him and called on her power.

She knew her amulet was the focal point of her power, but it felt as though long fingers were pushing past it and into her chest, squeezing her heart, drawing out her life. The weapon emerged in one smooth motion and she sensed at once the great weight of it and the great emptiness within herself. As it hit the ground before her, she felt the invisible lines of energy stretch between them. It was not her and she was not it, but they were one, somehow, a part of each other.

"Where is he?" she asked July, who hid in the shadow of a pile of debris.

"Left point seven six metres. Elevation, ten degrees. Heading toward the others."

Suou stretched out patiently on the ground and kept her sight on the spot specified. She could not see Cairo, but did not doubt July's judgment. Tension made her shoulders ache, but she refused to move, to rub them, to even twitch. The sky lightened and she wondered, briefly, what was taking him so long.

He strode into the open without fear or concern and Suou nearly missed him in spite of her vigilance. He was remarkably plain and blended into the background. Even as she tracked him, he seemed to fade in and out of sight.

"Closer," Suou whispered under her breath. "Closer."

Cairo walked just out of range. Suou thought she could hit him from this distance, but there were too many variables for her to be certain of her aim and the weapon's impact. If he walked a little ways toward her, she knew she would succeed.

At that moment, Cairo turned to face her and Suou's heart clenched. Had he heard her? Certainly not! And yet his timing was perfect…

Suou shook herself out of the reverie. There was no time for wondering what Cairo was up to; he was coming into range and Suou needed to take him out before he caused any more damage. She lined up her shot, not even bothering to ask July for assistance, settled her finger against the trigger, took a deep breath, squeeeezed…

And missed.

Suou knew it the moment the shot was fired. Contractor or not, enemy or not, she could not bring herself to shoot another human being. She cursed herself, cursed her weakness, and cursed the cloud of dust kicked up by her assault, which obscured her vision and gave Cairo a smoke screen to mask his advance.

"Pull back," she ordered.

She heard July rise to his feet, but before she could join him a stream of foamy liquid sprayed across the ground in front of her, sheeting the long barrel of her weapon and melting it.

Suou screamed as the gun collapsed in on itself, its power reabsorbed by her amulet, the force of its return punching a hole in her heart. Her power had never been forcibly dispersed before; she had not realized it would hurt so much.

"Shion," Cairo growled. "I've had enough of your bullshit. Come along quietly or I'll be forced to do something…memorable."

He walked toward her brandishing an automatic rifle. The detail was so good that it took Suou a moment to realize it was connected via plastic tube to a small reservoir tank on Cairo's hip.

He was threatening her with a water gun.

"Lemon-lime soda," he told her. "Unlike most of the others, this one will melt the flesh off your bones. It's the acid. I was told to bring you back alive, but no one said you had to look pretty."

Suou gasped and scrambled backward as Cairo leveled his rifle at her. For a moment, she considered giving in and going with him, but a flash of movement caught the corner of her eye. July's observer spirit danced across a scattering of broken glass. It caught Cairo's attention as well and he raised his rifle to spray the shadows behind Suou.

"No!" she cried, fearing for July. She leapt at Cairo, catching him around the waist and driving him to the ground. Suou heard a distinct crack and the dirt beneath them sizzled and smoked as the soda spilled from its broken reservoir.

Suou scrambled to her feet to avoid the mess, and kicked Cairo in the leg and side. She jumped back when he reached for her, saw a clear shot between his legs and took it, swinging her foot with all the force she could muster as he tried to turn the gun on her. He grunted, wheezed, and doubled up, giving Suou a chance to kick the gun out of his hand and stomp on it. The liquid burned the ground and made the soles of her boots smoke, but her boots did not dissolve. Evidently, some things could resist the acid.

A hand grabbed her by the arm and whirled her around roughly to face Cairo who struck her soundly on the side of the head with the handle of his knife.

"You little fuck!" he snapped. Spittle struck Suou's cheek as Cairo roared insults into her face and struck her again. "I'll slice your fucking throat."

Suou tried to tell him that it was impossible, they wanted her back alive, but the words would not come. Everything around her sounded tinny and her vision felt slightly out of focus. Even so, there was no mistaking the figure that rose up behind Cairo.

"You shit-licking…" the Contractor began, but he never finished the insult. Hei struck him a double-handed blow between the shoulder blades and he let go of Suou who stumbled out of reach before collapsing on the ground.

"Are you all right, little missy?" Petya said. "Stay out of the way, now. You've done enough."

"Yes," Suou said. Her voice trembled, not from fear, but from relief.

"I woke him up after you left," Petya told her as Hei punched Cairo and threw him down into the dirt, "and tried to explain what was going on. I'm not sure he understands everything, but he remembers enough and he knows what Cairo did to him. He's not very happy, as you might imagine."

Hei was never very happy, but Suou could not have imagined this. Eyes bloodshot and burning with rage, he looked like a vengeful demon as he threw Cairo down. He twisted and broke Cairo's arm when the Contractor reached for an intact pocket and the water bottle he surely kept there.

This creature could not be Hei, Suou decided. Hei was a killer, he was abusive, and she hated him, but he was not this terrible…thing. When he hit her, it was cold, impersonal. She hated him for hitting her, but also because it had no meaning. She could have been a sack of flour, for all it meant to him. The scientist he killed was never a father. The black woman he killed was never a kind assistant and confidante. The Contractor he hit was never a teenaged girl. She hated him for his coldness, but now she would give anything to see it again. He hit Cairo with the destructive, passionate force of feelings locked up and left to fester. Suou could feel it coming off of him in waves: blind rage, hate, bitterness, and sorrow. Terrible, terrible sorrow.

Suou did not like it at all.

"S-stop!" she cried when Hei slammed Cairo's head against the ground.

Hei stopped, but only long enough to turn his attention toward her. When Cairo did not get up, he stepped over the Contractor's body and hauled Suou up by her coat.

"Do you want him to kill you?" he roared in her face. "Did you use your power to draw his attention?"

Suou felt her mouth go dry.

"Oi, Hei!" Petya said from Suou's shoulder as she tried to shrink away from Hei's bloody, burning eyes. "This is Suou…"

"I know who she is," Hei growled. "I want her to know what she's _done_."

"I-I had to," Suou gasped. "Cairo was…"

Hei raised his hand as if to hit her. In a blur of motion, Petya ran up his sleeve and launched himself at Hei's face, scratching the still-tender skin. When Hei tried to grab him, he scrambled away and into the tangle of Hei's hair.

"What she's _done_," Petya said, dodging a slap, "is save you. She carried you back. She took care of you. She tried to defend you. She's earned more respect this."

Hei finally got hold of Petya, but did not squeeze him as Suou feared he would. He merely stood there, clutching Suou's coat in one hand and Petya in the other, breathing heavily. The light slowly went out in his eyes; Suou saw it fade and vanish, leaving only the dark despair she was used to and a lingering sense of sorrow. He let go of her coat and she fell to the ground. Petya, too, was released, but did not stray from Hei's hand.

"You gave me a scare," Petya told Hei, who squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do your eyes still hurt?"

"Yes, they burn," Hei said and Suou noticed the gleam of tears in the moonlight. They brimmed over, spilled from the corner of his eyes, rolled down his face in two tracks, and were gone. "I'm sorry, Mao. Everything hit me at once. I couldn't think…"

"Hmm…an after-effect of Cairo's power, perhaps. It messes with your brain, you know. Half the time you didn't know where or when you were," said Petya. "Ah well, I'm not the one who needs apologies."

Hei glanced down at Suou from between his fingers.

"I won't use Mao's excuse. I'm at fault. I'm sorry," he said and Suou felt it was the truth although she did not trust him enough to take his hand when it was offered to her. She pulled herself to her feet without his assistance and stepped away as Hei dropped his arm.

Just beyond him, Cairo began to stir.

"He'll hunt us, maybe kill us, if we let him go," Hei said.

"Yes," Suou said. She knew it. She understood, even if the thought made her stomach clench.

For a moment, she thought that Hei would ask her to finish the job, but he tossed Petya to her and drew his wire.

"Get back to the cabin," he told her flatly. "Take July with you. I'll clean up here."

"But…"

"Go!"

"Now is not the time," Petya whispered into her ear. He had crawled up onto her shoulder. "He may be sorry, but he hasn't recovered. Those in pain are apt to lash out."

Suou nodded once and went to find July, whom she led back to the shack. Dawn was breaking, but she was exhausted and thought he might be too. She helped him get settled on the sofa and curled up beside him, but found she could not sleep. In spite of this, she pretended otherwise when Hei returned.

Hei stood over them, staring, saying nothing. After a long while, he bent down to pick up a half-empty bottle and stepped back outside where he sat down heavily against the wall. Petya freed himself from the tangle of July's hair and scampered after him. Suou could not see them, but the rising sun spilled their shadows across the ground in front of the hole through which she practised her marksmanship. When the discussion was finished, Petya trotted in through the hole as Hei's shadow drew up it knees and buried its head in its arms.

"Suou," Petya said, not fooled by her act, as he settled into the crook of her arm, "if you _have _kept any of your human emotions, treasure them. _Use_ them. Nothing good will come of wearing the face of something you're not."

"Big words for a squirrel," she whispered, but Petya did not answer. He was tired and she was tired, but she couldn't quite keep her eyes off the huddled shadow out front. Anger and sorrow: even Petya seemed to have his share of them.

She solved the problem by closing her eyes. Petya curled up in a ball near her elbow and she hummed them both to sleep with a Chinese lullaby.

End  
November, 2009


End file.
